Showing posts with label sexual fitness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual fitness. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The Epic Generic Viagra Saga of the Turkey Baster

Let me wish a happy holiday season to all of my Generic Viagra readers out there. Peace, my brothers! You may have read my story about my miserable Thanksgiving last year, when my undersexed wife, having gone for several months without a single good pounding, embarrassed me by breaking down crying in front of the entire extended family (including my hated-and by hated, I mean dearly beloved-mother-in-law) when she took out the turkey baster to baste the turkey with. That was a classic Generic Viagra moment. I guess every guy who’s used the stuff had some straw that broke the camel’s johnson kind of moment, when all of his stubbornness and denial just flew right out the window. Well, when my wife blabbed to her precious mother about how I wasn’t sexually satisfying her, I couldn’t believe my ears. I knew I wouldn’t be able to look anyone in the face next Thanksgiving unless I tried some Generic Viagra, and gave my wife something to give thanks for over the coming year. So I ordered some of those miraculous pills that very day, just after the last football game was over, and waited patiently for it to be delivered. It was-and very discreetly!-in just a couple of days. I ripped open the package and looked at my beautiful pills. And so, I took my first Generic Viagra dose.

My wife was at the dad gum shopping mall, enjoying (if one can possible enjoy it) the first day of the holiday shopping system. What crass consumerism! I wanted to cook up something else for her to consume-and I don’t mean Thanksgiving leftovers. Long story short, when she came home from shopping, I was waiting for her on the front porch, with no clothes on (our home is secluded!). My giant Generic Viagra erection was imposing and frightening. At first, my wife let out a scream of shock. Then, she joined me on the porch swing, where I banged her for all she was worth. By the time she was done moaning, every dog in the neighborhood was howling. I’m sure they thought someone was dying. Nope, it was just la petite mort- or, “the little death,” as the French refer to orgasm. Generic Viagra had sure done the trick. I realized that I could continue taking it all year, and make my wife a very happy woman. That night, I heard her calling her mother in the next room, to assure her that I had finally fulfilled my responsibility as a man. Good grief, I thought-I’d be willing to take some Generic Viagra and pound my mother-in-law just to rid her of her complexes. On second thought, no, I wouldn’t do that! That’s just sick! But what can I say-the silly old bag needs a good stuffing.

And so it was. With Generic Viagra in my medicine cabinet, I could pop a pill anytime I sensed a sexual showdown looming, and be sure to rise to the occasion. Before I had thought that the stuff would just give you a massive hard-on for eight hours straight or something. Let’s face it, no man needs that exactly. That’s just unnatural-straight out of Frankenstein. The fact was, Generic Viagra just let me respond to stimulation naturally, the way I used to, back in college. My wife was thrilled. We had a long, happy year. And when Thanksgiving came again, we had a lot to be thankful for. But that’s another story. If you’ll keep reading, maybe you’ll come across the continuation-and my epic final confrontation with my horrible, bottom-feeding, bottom-dwelling beast of a mother-in-law.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Foods for Sexual Fitness


With the help of the some food items you can achieve the better sexual fitness and also your sexual stamina would be improved. Everyone usually think food as only a means of satisfying the hunger. But, with the help of certain food stuffs you can improve the sexual fitness and may last longer in the bed. Sexual fitness is of great importance for men and women because without it you would not be able to satisfy your sexual lust. Nature is the answer to all the human ailments. So, many food items in there natural state can be very helpful to improve sexual fitness. Foods for sexual health are very easily available in the nature, but only problem is the inadequate knowledge that we posses. So, mentioned below is the list of the foods for better sexual fitness.

1. Pomegranate

Pomegranate is the native fruit of southwest Asia, and its use as sexual fitness improver is been established since ancient times. Pomegranate juice is very rich source of Vitamin C, and also contains Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid), potassium and antioxidant polyphenols. Pomegranate helps in production of the sperms and improves the quality of sperms. It increases the sexual drive and sexual stamina. Pomegranate is also called as “Love Apple.” Recently, it also has been proved that Pomegranate cures impotence problem.

2. Strawberry

Strawberry is the world famous aphrodisiac. The sexual arousal is felt on its peak with the intake of the Strawberry. With the daily intake of the Strawberry, you will not face any sexual health problems. Strawberry increases the sexual stamina and helps your sexual ecstasy to be satisfactory for both the partners. Strawberries are rich source of zinc, which boosts testosterone in men and makes them perfectly compatible during the sex.

3. Celery

Celery is the medicinal herb that also improves the sexual fitness. Celery is the rich source of the androtestosterone and thus it helps for the sexual stimulation. It improves the erection mechanism in men. With the intake of the Celery men are able to last longer in the bed. Celery improves the sexual libido of both men as well women.

4. Oysters

Oysters stimulate the secretion of testosterone and oestrogen in humans, which ultimately arouses them to perform sex. It is a well-known aphrodisiac. Oysters promotes the production of the testosterone and thus there sexual appetite. Oysters also increase the sperm production. Thus, more amounts of sperms are developed in the men body. The ejaculation amount in increased.

5. Red Meat

Red meat is the only animal product that is useful in maintaining the sexual fitness. Red meat is the excellent source of the proteins and amino acids that increase the sexual stamina. Red meat promotes the testosterone production which improves the sexual libido in men. Even women can benefit a lot with the intake of the red meat.

6. Oats

Oats promotes the production of the sperms in the men. In women, they increase the flexibility of the vaginal tissues and make the intercourse less painful for them. Oats increases the sex drive and when eaten on the regular basis maintains the proper functioning of the reproductive system.

7. Almonds

Almonds are the very good food source to improve your sexual fitness level. The sexual stamina is found to be increased among the individuals who consume almonds on regular basis. Even the sperm quality and density is high with the intake of almonds. It increases the flexibility of the male and female reproductive system, thus avoiding painful sex and making it more enjoyable.

8. Cardamom

Cardamom acts as the aphrodisiac and also promotes the sperms production. Even the erectile dysfunction problem can be overcome with the help of the cardamom intake for about 2 months. Specifically for the old men cardamom can do wonders by improving their sexual stamina.

9. Figs


Figs are the small fruits of Ficus carica that promotes the sexual drive in humans. With the regular intake of figs men are able to last longer in the bed and there sexual stamina in doubled. Women can also benefit lot from figs, as they can attain there chances of getting orgasm is increased by eating figs before sex.

10. Garlic

Garlic enhances the sexual appetite of both men and women. You can even call it as a spicy Viagra as men will be able to retain the erections for long time with the intake of the Garlic. Even women feel lot of arousal with the regular intake of garlic in small quantities. Garlic improves the sexual stamina and thus you can enjoy the sex life to its fullest.

So, remember to make the above mentioned food items as part of your daily diet. This will help you to maintain the sexual fitness at the optimum best.